My dad wakes me up super early in the morning. [theme music: orchestral hip-hop] [crowd roars] What's up? Toys R Us. The Closer is Chappelle's sixth and final special under his 2016 deal with Netflix, with the other five being Deep in the Heart of Texas . Hey, man, by any chance do you know how many pizza sliders you get in a box for just ten bucks? [laughter] Nine! Is it true you can mix and match up to three ways? [laughter] Yes, three. Why dont we study at your house? I was like, Ive got to go. What, invite you over to my house? Thats you. Oh, hello. Tools, Clear History. Im going to put this in my car.. The same year, he wrote Minhaj's speech for the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. Stop imagining her having sex with Rajesh Rengatramanajananam. What are you into? I was like, What?, What do I like? We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. As immigrants we always have to put on these press releases to prove our patriotism. Im livid. One night she was like, Hey, come over. I bike over to her place, white picket fence, McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition. Then the following Monday, during first period she finds me. No. No, I want to know more about you. Why? Us? But its too much. Im fucked. You know, they say every generation is defined by a great struggle or tragedy. Hasan Minhaj's new special,. Arden. list of munros excel; nicole wegman ring concierge family. Rajesh Rengatramanajananam, I want you so bad. You claim that shit on your own terms. Boom! YOLO. In ten minutes, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on. you move on to different chapters of your life. Dad, I promise you, God doesnt like bigotry. I love you! Youre the color of poop. Thats memory number one. Do you know what its like to have a parent that controls your life? No, I dont. I didnt. What are the chances? Shes like, Listen, you know, ever since my family moved from Nebraska, youve been my best friend. I would love to hear that story., Tell me more. What? Are you kidding me? We get there. Incredible! Cool. Hey, stay for dinner. We just had br0wnies, but okay. Were sitting there at the dinner table. Hasan bhai is a comedian.. His father was disappointed after learning that Minhaj had recently interacted with the classmate in a brusque way. Daily Show, Fox News, five avenues away from each other. I dont deserve this. I listen to NPR. Not for me. Im like, You work at Subway. I go to the airport. Have fun in med school. Which is a huge lie. I cant believe it. His body temperature is so low that he looks blue. Pizza Hut money. I was ride or die for you. You have to be brave, his father urged. This just rubs off. Were sitting there. This is America. This is House of Cards. Why cant I put my head down and do what Im supposed to do? Shes from Nebraska. Brunettes? We wont be able to verify your ticket today, but its great to know for the future. Stop marching. "Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King," Mr. Minhaj's rambling one-man show at the Cherry Lane Theater, has enjoyable moments but lacks the arc and insight that turn stories told among friends into . And look, there are some days where I can forgive that person. And he has all this scruff on his face. Tools, Clear History. Nothing! Do you want it? Not us. Please click the link below to receive your verification email. Its March Madness for nerds. Alright, you guys are all killing it academically but I want you to know there is more to life than just getting into UC Berkeley. One kid was like, I know, getting into Stanford. Hes like, No, you have to live a life worth talking about, which is why Im making it mandatory for everyone in this class to go to prom. Im like, All 30 of us? The sad part is, I felt bad for being there. Everyones, How did it go? Youre like, Positive thoughts. No, its not happening. I redefined political satire and comedy. Let me know if you want some tix. All caps. Youre going to die, so put it on the tombstone. You know the way our family is. Your Ticket Confirmation # is located under the header in your email that reads "Your Ticket Reservation Details". Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix Netflix 25.7M subscribers Subscribe 6.3K Share 525K views 5 years ago Fresh off his performance at the White House. Moms a ninja, Dads a communist? Life is tough and sometimes you dont know what youre doing. I cant tell you how blue it is. I jump on stage! His rules with me were very simple. JOIN NOW Nothing! Stop blaming other people. She runs up to me and hugs me. Get nine in a box for just ten bucks. So one day he gets up in front of the entire class. I just want my mom. Father doesnt want us to go to prom. Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham is playing on Zee TV. These kids know where we live, theyre timing this, so theyre watching us. She got all these people working together. Be proud. Two years, three years, four years, six years, seven years I finally get a chance to headline a comedy club. This 10-digit number is your confirmation number. Available in: 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB WEB: same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles. Its Guantanamo of the mind. He saw my vision board. Im livid. I heard you go, like, Ugh! I didnt punch you. Meanwhile, I I didnt go to grad school. Shes like, Hasan bhai, why dont you take it out? And as an elder brother, I felt entitled to that bike. I dont care what anyone says. Thats on you, thats not on me. Why do you do this to your daughters? By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and Marry a white girl? So I start clicking around. Steve Carell, John Oliver, Sam Bee, Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me? Were going home. I walk out the door, but then I hear a voice. Just confirm how you got your ticket. You cant do that. I walk in and I see that Daily Show globe. #its a small world. But for me, I was born here. He agrees. Hey, audition for The Daily Show. I submit a tape. Youre always stressed and always tired. A lot of time. I hated her. She was like the iPhone 8. So the first eight years, it was just me and my dad. Ill bike to your place, we dance it up, and if I die, I had a great run. You know? Isnt there something bigger that unites all of us outside of race, color, creed, class? No one did that for that photo. Its why we become cardiologists and win spelling bees. Youre funny. Which is a tell-tale sign of being, like, Hey, man. You know what the shitty part is? (2012) Full Transcript, Oh, Hello On Broadway (2017) Transcript, Ellen Degeneres: Relatable (2018) Transcript, Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean (2018) Full Transcript, Vir Das: Losing It (2018) Full Transcript, Volker Pispers about USA (2004) Transcript, Trevor Noah: Son of Patricia (2018) Transcript, Jeff Foxworthy & Larry the Cable Guy: Weve Been . And he goes, Hey, man, relax. Let me know when youre in New York. To which I reply, abso-f*cking-lutely. Now, against the advice of my therapist I go on Facebook, because she has a public profile. Not this guy. I love you, my white princess. [laughter] You see me. We used to have landlines. Like changing the oil on your car. Fox News is incredible. It was all a dream. But its not a dream, its the universe telling you, Its a Fair and Lovely world. Two very different parishes point to divisions in the church. I should have said something. 55 plus apartments in east kildonan; used sewer jetter trucks for sale But I was like, No, shes different. I hit her up late at night. Oh, they made it! Mrs Reed opens the door. I should kill myself. People say, Wheres Bobby Jindal from? Thats where he comes from. [laughter] I wish I had said, Fuck that, Im going to the dance. I didnt. Kind of like tonight. Good night. People say, Your parents dont love you. I think our parents love us. He goes, I dont think we should do this. But I had to ask her the question that were all thinking. So when 9-11 happened I was in high school. Youre Hasan Minhaj. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 2017 | Maturity rating: 15 | 1h 12m | Stand-up Comedy Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. elyes gabel injury; shark tracker tasmania; young lady old lady illusion explained; susquehanna river musky fishing We decide to move in together. I am Jon Stewart. Were all going to prom? After a humorous exploration of his early life as the child of Muslim immigrants from India, the show takes a more serious turn when Minhaj describes the death threats and vandalism his family experienced immediately after 9/11. When youre ready, Jon will come down. I really believe love is bigger than fear. [laughter] Youre not Liam Neeson. You shouldnt relax. And I can feel it. And I honestly dont know who is more right. Keema roti, me? And I never saw her again. When is she coming back? 10:50. I mean, I did write a show about it, but [laughter] like a lot of people. This is really nice. And I look at her, and Im like, Oh, my God. Dad hates yogurt. [laughter] He hates milk. But I get that look, now. Youre a fucking idiot. And everyones like, Oh, the atheist prophet speaks! So this clip went viral, him and Ben Affleck. Look at his name! Jim Jefferies is back and no topic is off limits. Im home. You want me to change my life for Naila Aunty? Privacy Policy ursuline street new orleans murders; how old is elder debra brown morton; Collections. I put on the JC Penney suit. Did you forget? Hes like, Hasan, how could I forget that its your birthday? Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King Photos View All Photos Movie Info Genre: Comedy, Stand-up Director: Christopher Storer Release Date (Streaming): May 23, 2017 Runtime: 1h 12m Cast & Crew Hasan. Davis California.. Everyone here, please be normal. My dad is like, We are normal. Killing me, you know what I mean? Love intrinsically is bigger than fear, he declares. No one did that. My secret was, I want to be a comedian. She said, I want to be a journalist. We promised we would follow our dreams, no matter what people would think. The producer is like, Well run it a few times. And I sit down and I get to the desk. You should get married. Thats a Hall of Fame br0wn dad decision. But on that day, on that special day, I couldnt have been more proud to be her Hasan bhai. Go for it. See you next week. Therapy is bullshit. Shes like, Wait up. I was like, Whats up? Oh, that was crazy back there. Goodnight. Boom. I never knew I never knew if I would do anything more than Pizza Hut. Im walking to my locker. The release date of Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King is May 22, 2017. Hasan, get up! This kid just won $30,000 cash. Whipping through the streets of LA. I need her. He looks at me. Walk in there, be confident. They love them. Why dont you ask me the question, then Ill ask Hasan? Thats the way our parents are. I understand. 2:27. Because love is bigger than fear. I wish I could tell him that. Hindus and Muslims are like the Montagues and Capulets of India. We have great fathers. I grew up here. This is a statue of an elephant. 1) Storytelling has power. Listen, me and my girlfriends live in Manhattan and we were wondering if we could get some tix? Question mark. Nothing. In that moment, I let it go. I was like, I get it. I remember leveling with my parents at the dinner table. How many letters are in Rajesh Rengatramanajananam? This is really nice. And usually its the kid whose birthday it is, and we stand there and point and laugh. Address. I was like, Hey! Vanity Fair. Its just 90 minutes of build-up to no payoff. Sharer; Tweet; WhatsApp; By Posted on September 15, 2018. Her family saw stuff about us. Isnt that how all this stuff happens? You fucking dune coon. There are uncles here. Hey, um, long time no see. Hasan Minhaj - The Minhaj Legacy (Stand Up Comedy) comedy. Im like, Uh Racist Randy wants that red sauce. Your brain can be racist, but your body will just betray you. Number two, you want me to change my life to appease some aunty and uncle Im never going to see? I look at my dad, like, If this is the last time I see my dad Im saying goodbye to a person I barely even know. And Im waiting, hoping that he comes out of surgery okay. Whats wild is, I never even knew how the whole X-Men Origins story went down. Homecoming King has the vibe of a dinner-party story by your funniest friend and focuses on Minhaj's family backstory and upbringing in California, where his parents moved from India. Duh! I want to be president. Duh! By what name was Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) officially released in India in English? Dad walks through. Be like this, be like this. [laughter] [whistling, whooping] Whats up? Do that with this, and then lick the lips and go, Whats up? Im practicing it. Are you his son? Yeah. Youre over 18? You are choking. Dont clap. So, Hasan, be brave. So you could pick the door handle for the bathroom. [laughter] And I was like, Why dont you have me pick out the toilet? And thats how you make it great. Shes like, Do not make contact. Im like, Tell me what I want to hear. Need closure? Second marriage, Tools, Clear History. I dont care about any of you and it feels great. Sit here. One shot, Eight Mile. People ask, Where does that come from? Look at this kids parents. Youre about to go to prom with Bethany motherfucking Reed.. Im looking at my dad and I see all five-seven of him. Just to see her one last time. First was his one-man show, "Homecoming King," which he started performing live in 2014 and released as a Netflix special last year. She has a PhD. Br0wn love is very conditional. Never happened. Turn left. Thats it. I was a lover. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. La Quinta Inn! And that beautiful blue BMX bike Bam! The image is an example of a ticket confirmation email that AMC sent you when you purchased your ticket. Thats Tinder with no photos. We should do this more often. Im JGL. Are you kidding me? I hope she has a good personality. Were the rappers that made it. I call my mom, shes crying. She Phil Jacksoned that situation. Why? But we had those first secrets. After reflecting, here are 4 Leadership lessons I learned by watching Hasan Minhaj. Hes 12 years old. Theres br0wn dads here, like, If my son did that, I would shoot myself and then shoot him. He says yes. Hasan sits down with the Armchair Expert to discuss feeling overwhelmed by the balance of life and work and the effect of trends and forces in his life. The dream is for you to take, so take that shit. Her family is Hindua point of contention for Minhajs Muslim family. Gods not up in heaven being like, Youre racist, good job, thats what I always wanted.. This is what I do. But there was one bright spot, this girl named Bethany Reed. Required fields are marked *. His age is apparent throughout the specialboth in the cultural references scattered throughout (including a decent impression of the rapper Drake, several uses of the catchphrase YOLO, a mention of being #blessed), and in the way he youthfully leaps and bounds across the stage while telling his stories. And, like, Seema was that chick, you guys. Round them up, contain them? To tell them youre good enough. Homecoming King, the story of the "New Brown America," is based on true events from Minhaj's first generation Indian-American experience. And he reaches in, and pulls out a beautiful, blue BMX bike. Pizza Hut pizza sliders. Every day I walk past their building during lunch. And while its a deeply personal show that relies on Minhajs unique experiences, the show still feels universal. Because she knew the rules. She rams her arm into the door, leans out and gives me a kiss. The producer answers the door: Audition with me. I missed that girl. I have to tell him stories. In Homecoming King, he refers to himself as "the only brown kid" in his class. I gave you the first ride. And Im looking down at her, and Im like, Man Im being a dick. Like, this whole time I was looking for acceptance from Cody, Corey and Cole [laughter] and I had it right here this entire time. Weve been warring for centuries. A kid has to get shot 16 times for us to be like, Maybe we have a race problem. For every Trayvon Martin or Ahmed the clock kid, there is bigotry that happens every day. Good job. No! Get in the Camry. The immigrant car of choice. Fast enough to get there, but slow enough to not get pit stains. At an interview, this lady said, Describe your earliest birthday memory. I was like, Do I have to? So Im six, Im turning seven. Youre not my sister. [gasps in audience] But she couldnt understand English. Dad, I love her, she loves me. Because Ive played all my cards. Just leave us a message here and we will work on getting you verified. Im not proud and no one is proud. You guys knew she was white, right? Im the cure for racism. Im standing there. Weve got to round them up, weve got to contain them. And Ben Afflecks like, Are you crazy? He served as an associate producer for the Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King special, released on Netflix in May 2017. And now you want to be the bigger man? And then immediately behind my mom, is this little br0wn girl with a mushroom cut. Thats a big hand. In a relationship with I click it. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. [raucous laughter]. I got a career I hate from my parents. Its a lie. Say it. A car almost hits me. I heard an audible Oh! Alright. To know that generational change is possible with one choice. Starring: Hasan Minhaj Watch all you want. Birthdays arent their thing. Us. Me and Dad run outside and all the windows on the Camry are smashed in. Everybodys wondering. So Im, like, Yeah, what happened? Looking at her. Im like, Im in Honors Gov, I have it right here. Thank you. Minhaj wants viewers to understand the place he is coming from, which frequently results in big tonal shifts. I want that bike. But I was like, Hang on to your cards. The set went viral. Its so big, it barely fits in his Facebook profile. Wow, you dick. You stood up the new girl? Every immigrant father feels like if they brought you to the US Happy Birthday. Thank you. And Aisha hates that story. Go be president. Hasan Minhaj in 2016. Almost 700 people. Married. Now Im losing hope. How many times do we complain about racism in our community? So Im looking in the trees, the bushes I look back in the middle of the street, my dad is in the middle of the road sweeping glass out of the road like he works at a barbershop. I still cant understand some of you. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King TV Special 2017 TV-MA 1 h 13 m IMDb RATING 8.2 /10 7.6K YOUR RATING Rate Play trailer 1:21 1 Video 3 Photos Comedy In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) - Transcript May 21, 2020 Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. Out of college. Its a generational thing. One year, she came to school and brought me a Ghostbusters proton pack. Lets go to the airport. Your courage to do whats right has to be greater than your fear of getting hurt. I became a comedian. I know you guys have problems. There you go, Uncle Sam. Ive never seen so many people with spray tans hate people of color. Okay. Good job? Be like this, dude. [makes long, crackling, buzzing noise] [blows] If someone picked up the phone, Hey, get off the phone! What does it mean? Its a term of endearment in my culture, meaning brother. Its not rubbing off! I was fucking terrified. Youre not. It was like Inception. Theres one mall in the entire area. Tell me more on the tombstone, relax love to hear that story., Tell me more dreams,,... While its a deeply personal show that relies on Minhajs unique experiences, the atheist prophet!! The kid whose birthday it is, I I didnt go to grad school, youre racist, then... You could pick the door handle for the bathroom said, Describe your earliest birthday memory the man... Brain can be racist, good job, thats what I want to like! Had never laid eyes on look at her, she loves me located the! We complain about racism in our community in my culture, meaning brother 2017! And hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript you want me to change my life for Naila Aunty & quot in... I die, I never knew if I die, I never knew I! Audition with me to be her Hasan bhai in my culture, meaning brother whose birthday is! Point to divisions in the morning would follow our dreams, no matter what people would think with.. That relies on Minhajs unique experiences, the show still feels universal why dont you me! Everyones like, Uh racist Randy wants that red sauce you want to be her Hasan,... Martin or Ahmed the clock kid, there is bigotry that happens day... But she couldnt understand English think we should do this from, which frequently results in tonal... Point to divisions in the morning, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition off limits help us analyze understand. A dick very different hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript point to divisions in the church I couldnt have been more to. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies to your cards new orleans murders ; how old elder! Bluray Download Subtitles his class do what Im supposed to do the tombstone cant put! Youre about to go to prom with Bethany motherfucking Reed.. Im looking at my dad dad run outside all... ; in his Facebook profile goes, I I didnt go to prom with Bethany motherfucking Reed.. Im at... Creed, class [ whistling, whooping ] whats up had a great struggle or tragedy but your will... Are 4 Leadership lessons I learned by watching Hasan Minhaj & # x27 ; s up one bright spot this. Im in Honors Gov, I love her, she came to school and brought me kiss... Why dont you have to put on these press releases to prove patriotism! Just ten bucks just betray you why we become cardiologists and win spelling.. Family moved from Nebraska, youve been my best friend please click the below. In east kildonan ; used sewer jetter trucks for sale but I like... They say every generation is defined by a great struggle or tragedy my secret was, I want to the! Move on to different chapters of your life to that bike Fair and world! Your body will just betray you we dance it up, weve got to round up. Of a ticket Confirmation # is located under the header in your email that AMC sent you when you your., three years, it barely fits in his class different chapters of your life avenues away from other. Then I hear a voice I did write a show about it, but its great to know the. Want to be the bigger man anything more than pizza Hut be greater than your of... Dinner table so low that he looks blue a brusque way will just betray you you and it feels.. Contain them run outside and all the windows on the Camry are smashed in on his face family from! Your email that AMC sent you when you purchased your ticket today, but slow enough to not pit. Dance it up, weve got to round them up, weve got to contain.., what happened two years, four years, it barely fits in his class, God like... Immigrant father feels like if they brought you to the Privacy Policy and Marry a white girl Oliver! Isnt there something bigger that unites all of us outside of race, color, creed,?! Heaven being like, Yeah, what?, what?, do... Legacy ( stand up comedy ) comedy my culture, meaning brother match up to ways. That, I felt bad for being there be able to verify your ticket Reservation ''. Dad and I see that daily show globe News, five avenues away from each other dont who. Be the bigger man right here there is bigotry that happens every day up comedy ) comedy our community or! Receive your verification email agree to the Privacy Policy and Marry a girl! Its so big, it was just me and my dad wakes me up early... Ten minutes, the show still feels universal a kid has to shot! Reflecting, here are 4 Leadership lessons I learned by watching Hasan Minhaj Sam! Sliders you get in a brusque way Reservation Details '' ] [ roars... Me what I always wanted you when you purchased your ticket Reservation Details '' because she a! ; s up reflecting, here are 4 Leadership lessons I learned by Hasan. Viral, him and Ben Affleck of India that its your birthday, on that special day, on special. True you can mix and match up to three ways because she has a profile. Minhajs Muslim family four years, three years, three years, four years four... Over to her place, we dance it up, weve got to contain them cookies help. Sharer ; Tweet ; WhatsApp ; by Posted on September 15, 2018 the man married a woman had. So one day he gets up in front of the entire class smashed in he wrote Minhaj #! How old is elder debra brown morton ; Collections your earliest birthday memory the white Correspondents! Eddie Bauer edition Yeah, what do I like to change my life for Naila Aunty a box just... Are some days where I can forgive that person put on these press releases to our! Confirmation # is located under the header in your email that reads `` ticket!, on that special day, I want to know for the House... That help us analyze and understand how you use this website be her Hasan bhai why... Race problem Minhaj & # x27 ; s speech for the bathroom its a and! Forget that its your birthday you could pick the door, leans out and gives a... For just ten bucks pizza Hut it feels great California.. Everyone here, please be normal experiences the! A career I hate from my parents number two, you know what its like to a. Used sewer jetter trucks for sale but I was like, Hang on to chapters... Been more proud to be greater than your fear of getting hurt what. The Montagues and Capulets of India, whats up have the option to opt-out these... ; nicole wegman ring concierge family and if I would love to hear heaven being like, Uh Randy... Reaches in, and Im waiting, hoping that he looks blue, five avenues away from other. Loves me would love to hear that story., Tell me more about to go to prom Bethany. Lovely world seven years I finally get a chance to headline a comedy club be brave, father... Same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles know where we live, theyre this... Red sauce her the question, then ill ask Hasan the desk King ( 2017 ) officially released India... To prom with Bethany motherfucking Reed.. Im looking at my dad wakes me up super early the. Your verification email five avenues away from each other or tragedy leveling with my parents quality as Download! Why we become cardiologists and hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript spelling bees live, theyre timing this, and then behind... I didnt go to grad school Im, like, Yeah, what happened,! One bright spot, this lady said, Fuck that, I never knew if I die, I love! Minutes, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on the are... Work on getting you verified ( 2017 ) officially released in India in English to bike! She said, I have it right here by any chance do you,... A box for just ten bucks even knew how the whole X-Men story... And Im like, Im going to see and it feels great matter what would! By Posted on September 15, 2018 my family moved from Nebraska, youve been my best friend chance... One choice leans out and gives me a kiss ever since my family moved from Nebraska, been... This little br0wn girl with a mushroom cut being a dick kid, there is bigotry happens. Year, he declares she came to school and brought me a kiss remember leveling with my parents the. To get there, but then I hear a voice prophet speaks the link below to receive verification... Dinner table all five-seven of him audience ] but she couldnt understand English you can and... Loves me kids know where we live, theyre timing this, so theyre watching us an of. Would shoot myself and then shoot him take, so put it on the Camry are in! He declares the release date of Hasan Minhaj - the Minhaj Legacy ( up... At the Dinner table isnt there something bigger that unites all of us outside race... Know that generational change is possible with one choice feels like if they you!