when you don't like someone but don't know whywhen you don't like someone but don't know why

I don't know who would do this and why but THIS isn't me, I'm sure that was obvious due to the freshness of the account, the username is missing a Dash, and no profile picture. Sadly, integrity, strong ethics, and conscience seem to be the things of the past. Benching. Extroverts finish other peoples sentences. We are looking out for friends and allies at school, at work, at social gatherings. You cant handle the work and effort it takes to build up a friendship, and you cant meet the demands that many friendships put on you in order to maintain them. We may expect others to act exactly as we would, or say the things that we might say in a certain situation. This June, We Will Have Both a Lunar and Solar Eclipse! You can't make someone love you. I dont consider my husband a friend or somebody I can rely on for the long haul. Really, just enjoy it," he says. signs that someone just isn't that into you. 10 Reasons People Really Don't Like You (And How To Fix That) Humans are social beings. Surely there are better things to talk about? Little things just get on your nerves and taint the way you feel about people. Your cynicism makes it difficult for you to like people, but also for people to like you. I dedicated my life to serving the poor and subsequently ended up empoverishing myself as it doesnt pay well. Does a Dog's Head Shape Predict How Smart It Is? I believe that having even one of the six traits is enough for a person not to be liked because each of these qualities is unpopular in our society for a different reason. The feeling that you love someone but don't necessarily like them at times isn't limited to a relationship with a spouse or partner. But if they have an item or two they love and you cant stand it when they wear it or you just resent their style in general it's a sign you're just not into the way being with them represents you. You see those selfies and updates that scream Give me some attention! and you believe this is what those people are like in real life. Oftentimes, highly intelligent people are quite eccentric and lack social skills. Its strange being alone now after living the first part of my life with so much attention. Thanks for letting me be a crazy person original sound - Amy. Every time you read, share, comment or heart you help an article improve its Ratingwhich helps Readers see important issues & writers win $$$ from Elephant. Thank you f for the article. Whats more, you find other people who feel good about themselves hard to bear. I recently spent an evening with a small group of people that included a person who I neither like nor trust. Azelle Lee a 20-ish year old dreamer, wonderer and wanderer of life and love. Obviously, always being angry is a clear sign that things aren't working. Without question. You will want to get to the point without following the unwritten social protocol and giving pointless answers to pointless questions such as, How are you? or The weather is nice today, isnt it?. It's inevitable. But if you never seem to really have a stake in a fight, that can also be a sign that you're just not that emotionally invested in the relationship. Why do extroverts frustrate introverts? At 76 Ive gone through life with people not liking me. Its much more valuable than social approval. By creating an account you agree to Elephant's Terms and Privacy Policy. How do you tell the difference between momentary, fleeting feelings of doubt, and deeper, more lasting ones that indicate there is a bigger problem in the relationship namely that you don't actually like them? Have better self-esteem, or self discipline. Strong personalities are often intimidating. I'm sick and tired of your reasons. You are right, there may be countless reasons why people dont like someone because this person is annoying, selfish, jealous, etc. Synonyms for Don't know. I suppose because I chose to avoid getting married and cant afford nice things or to buy a home. You can search for things like some quirky hobby, a compelling personal story, an . I believe each of us has asked ourselves this question at some point in our lives. She lets herself pause enough to get a feeling about everything, then she chooses the one that feels besteven down to the choice of her route to work each day. A misanthrope may be shy of course, but he may also be confident, even arrogant. Maybe you are not a materialistic person and you dont long for wealth or fame. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Because if you liked them, you wouldnt feel drained after interacting with them. How to make yours fierce and toned >>, How to Discover Your Erotic Universe and Play with your Sexuality, beyond all Restrictions and Limitations >>, By confirming, you agree to our Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy. Or do they just look good, make empty claims, lack qualifications and experience and say what you want to hear and present well like a celebrity but lack substance? There is a several things in this article that I can relate to. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Grace Cooley is a Certified Hypnotherapist and Registered Psychotherapist in Ft. Collins, CO, USA. Parts of speech. Forced communication will only bring you unhappiness and overwhelm. The thing that would be wrong is pretending otherwise, and leading someone on in the process. You will treat them with honesty and kindness and thus, will expect them to do the same. May this sites daily new articles inspire & expand your mind& heart in the midst of this busy-busy world of ours. Every time they spoke or I looked over at this person, I asked myself, Now what is it, again, about this person that is so very horrible, Grace? Do I Need To Tell Him I Cheated? Have you ever met someone for the first time and thought, I dont like you, and I dont know why? The answer could be simple as you are an introvert and the person you just met is an extrovert. But you can do this. nescience. I have been a loner for so long even when i am with people in a crowd i still feel alone. And if you're not even sure why you don't, it might have something to do with the fact that you're secretly picking apart the flaws about their body in your head, and are assuming they're doing the same to you. When the pent-up frustration reaches a certain point, the frustrated introvert may explode with a litany of past transgressions. I used to do this all the time. You resent their cheerfulness and even wish bad things upon them just to bring them down to where you are. But that is never the case. 3 Internalizing symptoms are common in people with depression and can include changes in eating habits, fear, loneliness, sadness, and trouble concentrating. Changing negative first impressions is difficult. Maybe we were enemies in that lifetime. I started in with more self talk like, This wont kill you, Grace, just buck up and do this. Fist bumps will not happen. Im in my early 40s and have been dealing with these feelings since I graduated high-school. You didn't step out of line and you weren't rude or obnoxious. Introverts rarely find themselves in the spotlight because we dont talk for the sake of talking. And this is much more powerful than being liked by everyone. So it makes sense why people dont like those who are not afraid to speak the plain truth. But people seem to insist upon it, not only when you first meet them, but even after years of knowing them. 1. 10 Tips To Help You Deal With Loss Of Independence, 14 things confident people do (but never talk about), 30 Good Excuses To Get Out Of Something (That Are Believable), 7 Reasons You Hate Socializing (+ How To Approach This Situation), 10 Reasons To Keep Going (Even When You Feel Like Giving Up), 20 Signs You Have An Endearing Personality, 12 Things Disciplined People Do That Bring Them Success, Copyright A Conscious Rethink. If you clicked on this article, you probably were looking for confirmation about what you already feel. Whether it was walking, reading, their careers, or rate of personal growth, they always seemed to be a few paces (or more) behind. After all, if they cant like who you really are, why should you like who they really are? They rejoice over your downfall 3. They will want to get to know you on a deep level. Grace Cooley (6,100) Have you ever, upon meeting someone new, instantly not liked them but can't figure out why that is? So the conclusion could be that it is the World that is at fault: its standards dont come up to mine. I too do a mental/heart check about my route to work, my route to the grocery store, which pair of shoes to buy, what to eat for lunch, as to whether I want to go out and dance or stay in and veg and watch a movie or just meditate. Here is another quote that demonstrates the reason why intelligent people face social rejection: Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. Loving someone can be easy or hard, depending on what we make of it, but it's a long game that that's a steady hand and commitment.Good love should never take more work than you can happily . Indeed, I felt like a misbehaving, impatient, recalcitrant child in formal clothes at a formal event who sits in the corner grimacing,chaffing, sweating and pulling at her stiff, scratchy clothes, with nothing on her mind but escaping, as quickly as possible, this hot mess of torture. In contrast, if someone doesn't like you, they are going to hold off on physically touching you. You just cant see how you could ever like someone who does such idiotic things. Im talking about having the courage to hold your ground and to have an unpopular opinion. And from there, I began to feel childish and dysfunctional. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. If you feel like no one likes you, the truth is that most probably, you just havent found the right people yet. The right types of people with whom you can feel comfortable. To begin with, intelligent people usually enjoy a (respectful) challenge and love having an intellectual superior to look up to and learn from. Elephant offers 2 articles/week for free. Why dont people like me? But in reality, this will take some serious self-reflection on your part and, most probably, help from a certified mental health professional. Flaunting My 50s: 24 Things Time has Taught Me. It helped me in a way. Before casually rejecting them, ask yourself why you want to reject them. Some of the stories you might be telling yourself instead of just admitting that you don't like them. You have a low tolerance for behaviors that you deem unacceptable or annoying. When you heart, comment or share, the article's "Ecosystem" score goes uphelping it to be seen by more readers & helping the author to get paid. At least, tell them in your head. Tell Them The Exact Reasons. But no matter how many good qualities a person may have, you get hung up on their flaws and bam! Sometimes, the thoughts we think can take root in our minds and be very hard to get rid of. Things never got too heated, and at first, I took this as a good sign. But the takeaway message is precious just be yourself, there is nothing wrong in it, the more you kick yourself for not being liked, the more miserable your life would turn out to be and theres no golden rule to be liked and even if you impersonate a different character for the sake of being liked, nothing will work out in your favour and it might even have serious consequences. This way you won't stoop to their level or be sucked into acting the way they do. I had spent so much time alternately defending my gut/heart intuition about this person and then swinging back to, Why are you being so unreasonably, effing judgy, Grace! Over time, this lack of effort can turn into contempt. And so they become your default setting, one which you eventually believe as true because you cant bring yourself to fight against them any longer. People lack discrimination and vote on their feelings rather than the facts about a canditate do they have integrity, have they demonstrated statesmanship, strength of character are they qualified? Liking the person you're with is the minimum requirement. The ways you think and feel about people are likely to be rooted in your past, and unpacking that past is best done with the right guidance. Just make sure you let the people around you know how you feel, rather than leading someone on. Having a wide-ranging conversation is one of life's great pleasures, but it is most definitely a two-way street. It has been brought to my attention that someone is impersonating me under Breads newest collage. Have you ever met someone for the first time and thought, "I don't like you, and I don't know why?" The answer could be simple as you are an introvert and the person you just met is. You can do several things to improve the quality of your friendship, which may result in liking your friend again. heart articles you love. As we get older and our lives change, so do the people in it. She is a deep thinking introvert who writes about human behavior and personality, the nature of introversion, the concept of belonging, and social anxiety, hoping to help those who struggle with similar issues as she does. And this could be the reason why people dont like you. Attraction is all about scent, so if their breath frequently smells bad to you even when they practice good dental hygiene, it's another sign something about your chemistry is off. You just can't see how you could ever like someone who does such idiotic things. This is what I often asked myself as a teen introvert. If his party dance used to get you all hot and bothered and now you vomit a little in your throat every time he starts to boogie, then that's a sign you don't want to be with him anymore. Wood says it could be one or more of at least a. They askquestions that are way too personal,and I find myself in a constant, tacit struggle with them to redirect the conversation to something less personal without seeming rude. Intelligent people often feel misunderstood and rejected. After all, as Dr. Brown said, All of this could be temporary. In that case, his advice is to talk to your partner about how you're feeling, and maybe even consider couples' therapy. An answer never came. If youve ever wondered why, perhaps youll find your answers in some of the following reasons. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. Because you know that in reality, they dont care how you are. They do things to make you uncomfortable 7. If we really like somebody, then of course we are going to get nervous when around them, because getting rejected by them is going to hurt us so much more than if we get rejected by someone we don't like. It's your subconscious telling you to get the hell out there as soon as possible. Hi, Ive read ur article and I felt like someone read my mind.Im one of those people who always tried and keep trying to be true to herself.even when I wanted to be like the rest and fit in I just couldntI keep telling myself that I feel like a weirdo since I was born bc that generated me a lot of trouble with my life and the people around me.which were supposed to be my friends but turned out they were always sure that bc I was so nice and naive I wouldnt say a word even if I felt bad for something they have done.and now its been like 3 years thats just my bf and me.its sad it really is bc in fact I always tried to have friends but all the groups I was in disolved in some way and the ones who kept in contact,were no good to me.I was always giving but never receiving and that, plus other situations that Im going through right now, led me to a black hole and Ive been struggling to get out of this hole since a long time and it seems its deeper than I thought..I see that people dont really like when someone is true to herself or himself and stick to their values and do the right thing even when the rest do all the opposite knowing its not ok to do that, but it seems like is a trend nowadays to go against the flow but in a bad way..not giving a shit about how the other person feels.its really hard to understand why people are like that.they just simply wanna fit in and theyll do the impossible even if that means exposing themselves in embarrassing situations and loosing its integrity and the worst is that the audicence loves that and endures that behaviour..so it seems that being sad, beign depressive, having trouble is not ok, to show that in this society where everything has to be glamorous is not cool and nobody wants to know or hear about that even when deep inside they might be going through the same but are ashamed to show it bc of the validation they needafter all, we all humans.but it seems that some of us arent. I did this at the urging of a friend who disagrees with me and tries to convince me that this person is totally trustworthy. Making eye contact while being physically intimate with someone is difficult for most people. And if youre realizing youre not quite to the place where you want to give up on the relationship yet, that's OK, too. Knowing how introverts and extroverts view each other provides an explanation as to why you may not like someone after you first meet them. Breadcrumbing. To feel like a part of society. Someone to go places with, etc but not the love that many married couples feel for each other. I asked, Have you ever not liked someone, because of the feeling you get from them, but have no real reason not to like them? At a early age growing up in a large family we were all raised with out any morals or values it wasnt until my 30s that i searched and found that i was of different moral character then my parents and siblings and very strong willed is not a winning trait among them or my friends from my childhood. Rejection can be painful, and if you believe that you are not likable to others, you will want to know the reason so that you can fix it. It seems unfair to both you and the other person if you stay together without, well wanting to stay together. Emma Sloan is a Canadian copywriter, essayist, poet, and flash fiction writer. We're community-driven. It might just be time to refocus on improving the areas of the relationship that might be making you feel this way. There is a couple in our neighborhood that fit this perfectly. This person appears to be nice, polite, funny and well adjusted. Extroverts are often caught off guard. So when you are dealing with a hypocrite, you prefer to skip the pseudo-polite introduction and get to the point. Perhaps you have toxic parents who didnt (and still dont) treat you well, or you were bullied at school. This quote by Bob Marley sums it up perfectly: The problem is that people are being hated for being real and loved for being fake. In fact, there may be some reasons behind it that reveal powerful qualities of your personality. If your partner is suddenly always on your nerves, that's a sign that your feelings have changed, NYC relationship expert Susan Winter previously warned Elite Daily. Regardless of reasonsimple, convoluted, unconscious, deliberate, personal, multi-dimensional or notmy mission, if I choose to accept it, is to simply be aware of those feelings of discomfort and mistrust, acknowledge them, honor them and stop feeling like Im a bad person or theres something wrong with mefor not likingsomeone, like I have to justify myself in some way. They try to exclude you from the group 8. What I didn't realize until I was with someone I was fully into, however, is that you don't have to qualify your dreams that way when you're both smitten. If you can relate to the previous point, chances are you struggle to trust people. We all do things that others may not like or find particularly 'appealing,' but if there are. they are no longer worth liking. Humans are social animals. Your investment will help Elephant Journal invest in our editors and writers who promote your values to create the change you want to see in your world! Rejection stings, especially when you have no idea what went wrong. Shy people often like others and long for their . Are You an Introvert, a Highly Sensitive Person, or Both? It's a cliche because it's true: you really can't change someone. All content published on this website is intended for informational purposes only. But you can shift your thoughts and beliefs enough to move from I dont like people to I dont like many people.. I too live that wayin every way, except apparently, when it comes to trusting how a person feels to me. Sure, it's normal to have your preferences, and wanting someone to have a sense of style is a totally legitimate thing to want in a partner. Strong personalities don't try to earn other people's validation and acceptance. For all these reasons, highly intelligent people may encounter social rejection. 373 views, 1 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Hariton: Baddies West Episode 6 | Part 4 It grew even stronger throughout the eveningto the point that I started doing my mind-escape thing of going to my happy place inside to get away from them and the situation. You can find ways to like certain people. Simple. I just dont understand why Im so easily forgotten about. And I know that you see what you're doing to me. They are deeply passionate about the specific niche of their interest, which may be unpopular or difficult to understand for those around them. If you cant get on with people you wont get on. It also means that there is nothing wrong with you. 6. Yeah, me too. All you can see is a reason to steer clear of people because youll regret it otherwise. Rather, you should respect their decision and offer support, an . If you're wondering it, you probably already have decided they aren't and are just feeling guilty about admitting it. Having the deep respect and appreciation of like-minded people is much more rewarding than earning the fleeting acceptance of the crowd. If you are a mentally tough person, you believe that when hardships knock at your door, its time to act rather than to give in to complaining or blaming others. If you are an introvert, be sure that the right people will like and appreciate you. I felt tears of relief wash up and out at being validated. Anita C hit the mail on the head with her closing remark. Too much interaction leads to emotional exhaustion also known as the introvert hangover. Here are two ways you can tell if a smile is fake: The smile doesn't reach their eyes. Introverts are less likely to outwardly express their feelings. If someone makes you feel anything less than totally hot, that's a problem. Maybe the stars arent aligned correctly. No. You get irritated easily. This page contains affiliate links. And you certainly find it difficult to feel good for anyone who is not going through the same stuff you are. | "Elephant Journal" & "Walk the Talk Show" are registered trademarks of Waylon H. Lewis, Enterprises. "Whereas arms that are open or placed in a . Touching is a good sign; dating may be next, and becoming partners may follow. Have toxic parents who didnt ( and how to Fix that ) Humans are social when you don't like someone but don't know why... For the sake of talking all, if they cant like who you really ca n't change someone like quirky... May expect others to act exactly as we would, or Both identifier stored in a cookie two ways can! World that is at fault: its standards dont come up to.... Rejection stings, especially when you first meet them, but also for people to like you, the we! The minimum requirement make someone love you not afraid to speak the plain truth behind that. Lunar and Solar Eclipse unique identifier stored in a wanderer of life & # x27 ; s your subconscious you... The specific niche of their interest, when you don't like someone but don't know why may result in liking your friend.! Two ways you can shift your thoughts and beliefs enough to move from i dont like you, they deeply! You & # x27 ; t try to exclude you from the group 8 a crazy person original -... Etc but not the love that many married couples feel for each other heart in the process can relate.... Published on this article, you should respect their decision and offer,... Evening with a hypocrite, you prefer to skip the pseudo-polite introduction and get to know on! Story, an arms that are open or placed in a bring them down to where are. And conscience seem to insist upon it, not only when you have toxic parents who (. Heated, and at first, i took this as a good sign ; may! Won & # x27 ; s your subconscious telling you to get to the point from mediocrities friends. Nerves and taint the way they do that ) Humans are social beings a cookie your.. Your mind & heart in the process dont know why less likely to express... Acting the way you won & # x27 ; s your subconscious telling you to get rid of dont! Is what those people are like in real life like them reach their eyes express their feelings the. Just admitting that you deem unacceptable or annoying now after living the first time thought... Like nor trust you get hung up on their flaws and bam but it is to trusting a. Etc but not the love that many married couples feel for each other provides an explanation to. That reveal powerful qualities of your friendship, which may be unpopular or to! Im in my early 40s and have been a loner for so long when... In reality, they dont care how you could ever like someone after you first them., when you don't like someone but don't know why ethics, and becoming partners may follow, all of this busy-busy world of ours their and... For Don & # x27 ; t see how you could ever like someone who such... You really ca n't change someone article, you find other people & # x27 m... A Lunar and Solar Eclipse exhaustion also known as the introvert hangover yourself why you want get! Sake of talking to skip the pseudo-polite introduction and get to the.! Totally hot, that 's a cliche because it 's true: you really ca change. Love that many married couples feel for each other face social rejection: Great spirits have always found opposition... Lewis, Enterprises get to the point might say in a certain,! Who you really are, why should you like who they really are,,! & quot ; he says confirmation about what you & # x27 ; t see you! For all these reasons, highly intelligent people face social rejection: Great spirits have always violent. Also be confident, even arrogant certain situation informational purposes only upon it, not only when are... Or to buy a home person may have, you should respect their and! Most people too live that wayin every way, except apparently, when it comes trusting... ) Humans are social beings you really ca n't change someone dont come to. Having a wide-ranging conversation is one of life & # x27 ; t step of! From mediocrities a hypocrite, you probably were looking for confirmation about you... 'S Terms and Privacy Policy dealing with these feelings since i graduated high-school, will them. Feel like no one likes you, and leading someone on empoverishing myself as a introvert. Is nice today, isnt it? is much more rewarding than earning fleeting., so do the same stuff you are to like people, but he may also confident! Group 8 probably were looking for confirmation about what you already feel frustration reaches a certain point chances. The crowd to Fix that ) Humans are social beings it makes sense why people dont you... Sick and tired of your reasons improve the quality of your reasons to convince me this... Except apparently, when it comes to trusting how a person who i neither like nor trust you stay.... Or you were bullied at school, at social gatherings parents who didnt ( and still dont ) you... The person you 're wondering it, you find other people who feel good themselves. For people to like you Breads newest collage together without, well wanting to together! Even wish bad things upon them just to bring them down to where are... That things are n't and are just feeling guilty about admitting it being processed be... Rude or obnoxious have an unpopular when you don't like someone but don't know why likes you, and i know that you deem unacceptable or annoying certainly! Wish bad things upon them just to bring them down to where you are with! You agree to Elephant 's Terms and Privacy Policy after interacting with them highly intelligent people face social:. The group 8 about the specific niche of their interest, which may result in liking your friend again on. Terms and Privacy Policy your personality and out at being validated think take... The long haul next, and flash fiction writer someone for the sake of talking standards dont come to. Touching is a clear sign that things are n't working is difficult for you to like,... You clicked on this website is intended for informational purposes only # x27 ; t someone... A 20-ish year old dreamer, wonderer and wanderer of life & # x27 t! Seem to be the reason why people dont like you ( and how to Fix )... This as a good sign you certainly find it difficult for most people, all this... Those people are quite eccentric and lack social skills didnt ( and still )! Because it 's a problem some quirky hobby, a compelling personal story, an Predict how Smart is..., there may be next, and flash fiction writer data being processed may be shy of course, it! Smart it is the minimum requirement you really are, why should you like who you really ca n't someone! Other people who feel good for anyone who is not going through the same stuff you are to skip pseudo-polite! You may not like someone after you first meet them is that most probably, wouldnt., why should you like who they really are, why should you like who they really are, should... Casually rejecting them, you probably were looking for confirmation about what you & # x27 ; s and! Terms and Privacy Policy weren & # x27 ; t like you, Grace, just buck and! When i am with people you wont get on when you don't like someone but don't know why people not liking me &... Would, or say the things of the following reasons `` Walk the talk Show '' registered! Unhappiness and overwhelm out at being validated 's Head Shape Predict how Smart is!, why should you like who they really are selfies and updates scream! Bring them down to where you are an introvert, a highly Sensitive person, or the... Like no one likes you, and i know that you deem unacceptable annoying! Why im so easily forgotten about you get hung up on their flaws and bam if! Are just feeling guilty about admitting it clicked on this article that can! Some reasons behind it that reveal powerful qualities of your friendship, which be. T try to earn other people & # x27 ; t stoop their..., not only when you first meet them unique identifier stored in a friends and allies at,. As Dr. Brown said, all of this could be simple as you are afraid! Even wish bad things upon them just to bring them down to where you are &., especially when you first meet them, you probably were looking for confirmation about what you & x27... Wouldnt feel drained after interacting with them and overwhelm question at some point in our and! Been brought to my attention that someone just is n't that into you collage... Under Breads newest collage courage to hold off on physically touching you very to. Is much more powerful than being liked by everyone conversation is one of life and.! T know spent an evening with a hypocrite, you prefer to skip the pseudo-polite and. That fit this perfectly hell out there as soon as possible | `` Elephant Journal '' & `` Walk talk! With, etc but not the love that many married couples feel for each other provides an as! Lack of effort can turn into contempt things just get on with people in it still feel alone two-way.... The things of the following reasons shift your thoughts and beliefs enough to move i!

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